D.O.S. 2009 (go back »)

As anyone with half a brain could tell, today is day of silence. I decided not to do it this year because I just didn't feel like it and I don't need to keep my motherfuckng mouth closed for a day to prove that I support gay people.

It's so funny because UB and his GF were just in the library (I come in here during my lunch periods because I'm too much of a pussy to cut and I hate the cafeteria). I just walked in and saw his ass. As I think I said, he's buzzed his hair. I've gotten over it though. It's just funny because last year on DOS he cut his hair and he came in the library and I saw him, same as this year. So much has changed about me since then. I'm alot calmer, and low key, and more hard core but also more resigned and tired. I'm now listening to Lykke Li. That brings my swedish music groups I like up to five. Anyhow, this year kind of flattened me out in a way. I think being in a class with UB has changed that stalker/stalkee dynamic and feeling between us. Before I think he just thought I was this weird girl, but seeing me by myslef I think he realizes I'm just a person who's fond of him, but isn't particularly creepy, and is actually quite normal. Back to me. This year has helped me realize that I'm just this entity and my scene is being everything. The heartbeats live version is so beautiful. I almost feel my heart drop whenever I hear it. It just sounds so authentic and pure, like Karin and Olof are just up there doing that concert like it's th eonly thing that matters in the universe, actually, like the music is the unverse. 

And, the funny part is, even with that short hair, UB stil has his baby hair. And I saw him give this big ass smile adn it made me so happy.